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There are things that happen in life that I can't tell my friends and family about. However, a person can't keep everything inside!

Wife - daughter - employee - lover - writer - musician - sculpter - guilt hound - tea drinker - just another face in the crowd

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Claire in 30 seconds

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These are some interesting blogs I keep up on. I'll admit, I rarely comment, but there are some interesting people out there!
All About my Vagina
Myths and Metawhores
Catch Up 272
Unauthorized Bootlog
Fade to Numb
Goose and Gander
Dilemas of a Virgin Slut
Biting my Tongue
...I am Also a Sexual Being
Figleaf's Real Adult Sex
Post Secret(note, Post Secret isn't really a blog, but you should look it over anyway.)
Dingbat Fonts:
The Dingbatcave
Fine Art:
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Random Things I Can't Tell Regular People

Thursday, March 31

I got to give my husband oral last night. I love doing that, it's so intimate and sexy... here's how it came about: We started by watching Team America: World Police in bed. One of the funniest movies of all time (unless you're a little prudish, in which case it may not be for you.) Then, because my husband loves me, he put on a porno movie and we lay there watching that. In the beginning I certainly wasn't in the mood, I had been crampy earlier in the day, was just tired and... just not in the mood. He was ok with that, we just snuggled for the first part of the movie, commenting on this and that. The movie was cheezy (as all such films are) but certainly not terrible, the plot was something about an all girl swim team (and their various coaches). Anyway, soon my husband started masterbating himself, no demands, just kept cuddling me. I soon turned in to him a little, and his hand crept down to between my legs. It was so nice and gentle, and felt so good. Wasn't long before I took his penis in my hands and he was fingering my clit. We kept watching the movie, he had his eyes closed, so I described what was going on and how I felt about it. The movie included some anal, which we're experimenting with, more on that at a later date. Anyway, he brought me to climax and then asked, What's next? It's a hard question to answer. He likes it whan I know what I want and am decisive, but it's not always easy - a lot of things in love making feel really good, it's hard to pick just one! Luckily last night it was easy, I wanted him in my mouth and so got on my hands and knees between his legs. Then it was his turn to describe what was going on in the movie (he got the orgie scene, which was a lot of explaining ;) and it was so nice when his pleasure would take his breath away. I was using fairly deep strokes when he did come, I kept licking and swallowing until his penis had lost its persistant hardness. Then, we cleaned up and cuddled our way to sleep. It is very nice to be married to this man.
posted by claire ~ 8:57 a.m. | bullet.gif

Wednesday, March 30

Last night, as I mentioned, was a bit of a crummy day. My husband and I went to bed early, and had some nice fun before sleeping. It's nice that not all sex has to be crazy sex like last Sunday night, comfort sex is really nice, too.
posted by claire ~ 10:47 p.m. | bullet.gif

Tuesday, March 29

So, I got the "are you having problems at home" speech at work today. That is one of the shittiest speeches. I guess I'd made a couple dumb errors, not really big (read: expensive) mistakes, just a bunch of little ones, enough to get noticed, but not fired. My immediate supervisor is a good guy, so he was nice about it, but it was still crappy. I'm not a perfectionist, I make no bones about that, but I am exceedingly consciencious. I like things done right. Some of my errors could be blamed on their faulty paperwork system, but I hate passing the buck. The other error was all me, just not paying attention. Anyway, I can't tell regular people this because I want people to think good of me.
posted by claire ~ 9:13 p.m. | bullet.gif

Monday, March 28

Now, I'm officially a hippie

So, last night I smoked my first joint. I'm certainly not a smoker, so it took quite a while to learn how to inhale deep enough to get some good effects. Finally, I got a couple good puffs though and - off to the races! In the beginning I mainly felt giddy. I found things quite funny. At one point I sat at the piano to see if I could still play and just cracked up. I was trying to explain to my husband why Bach was so particularily funny at the time, but couldn't really. Bach is very complex, and my brain was feeling a little fragmented, I think I found the similarities between the Fugue and my messed up mind hilarious. (It doesn't seem so funny now, however.)

We had a bit of a scare, my husband seems to have a rather negative reaction to pot, he tends to get nauseous, so he really didn't smoke any. He did have a tiny puff (trying to teach me how to inhale) and the house was heavy with smoke, so I'm sure he was affected. At one point in the evening, he was clearly not well, and had, I believe, a bit of a panic attack. I sobered up a bit then, pulled myself together to take care of him as much as possible, but I certainly didn't like the feeling of being so out of control I couldn't help him as much as I'd have liked. What if there were some emergency and I'd had to go to the hospital with him or something? He just kept apologizing and telling me he was okay and after a while, I think he really was. Still, it made me see the gravity of the "fun" we were having.

After that, I kind of forget the sequence of events. I know it wasn't too much longer and the both of us were naked in bed. I tell you, sex while a little high is amazing. Everything was so vivid and so singular, each sensation was magnified individually. Needless to say, it was the best sex I've ever had in my entire life. I had numerous orgasms, one of them, I was sure, would be the end of me. My sense of time was distorted, so I was never sure if my husband was bored by doing the same thing too much, or put off by rapid position changes. I kept asking him to make sure he was ok. Turns out having me so into things was a huge turn on for him and we both enjoyed ourselves immensely. We ran the gamut, from oral to traditional to... well, we did it all.

Here's what I learned about smoking weed:
- It makes things seem silly
- It makes my husband ill
- It makes me really, really horny
- It also makes me really, really thirsty
- It makes my brain see things as cartoons: everything was bright and round and bouncy

That being said, it'll probably be a long time before I ever use it again. I didn't like being incapable of supporting my husband if need be. And, I'd never do anything that'd make him sick. I'd give up the best sex in the world for him - if that isn't love, I don't know what is.
posted by claire ~ 10:31 p.m. | bullet.gif

Sunday, March 27

Good news about the yeast infection thingie. The yoghurt took care of it, just 3 easy (well, a little messy, but generally easy) applications and it was ok. I was able to go see my husband on the weekend. I'd missed him so much, I was fairly horny when we finally got to be alone together. On another day I may explain what we did together, since it's certainly of those things I can't tell regular people. The other thing is my husband picked up some weed from an old friend. Another thing I can't tell regular people is that I've never smoked before. I'm looking forward to it... keep you posted!
posted by claire ~ 8:46 p.m. | bullet.gif

Thursday, March 24

My husband has only been away two days, and I'm falling to pieces. In the beginning, I was cocky, sure that I'd be okay for these few days before I go to meet him. Tonight I realised just how much I rely on him. When I see myself through his eyes, I like what I see. When he's not here, I forget... I need his strength and his steadfastedness. His smile makes me happy and having him in the other room lets me know that all is right in the world. Having him in a different province is scary - what would I do if I ever lost him?
posted by claire ~ 11:08 p.m. | bullet.gif

When I have to sleep alone, I keep a light on.
posted by claire ~ 1:29 a.m. | bullet.gif

Wednesday, March 23

I gave up chocolate for Lent. It seems petty; it's not a real "fast," and it doesn't really affect my life much. I did it as a kind of experiment, to see if it'd be good for me. I'm not sure if it was. I guess it was, I do enjoy chocolate and I gave it up in every form: Hot chocolate, chocolate donuts, Smarties and cookies - nothing. Not that giving up chocolate makes me suffer like the Jesus' 40 days in the wilderness, or the Israelites in the desert for 40 years. It does make me remember them though, as I bypass the vending machine.

What was likely more valuable was the daily bible reading schedule I followed. I read all about the Isrealites leaving Egypt (Exodus) and God's frustration with their apathy (Jeremiah). All He wanted was his children to humble themselves and put God in his place as King. They refused and God sent "reminders" (ie. enemies to overtake them) and kept telling them he wanted to save them, if only they'd repent.

I don't know about next year, but this year, I think Lent was a success. But, I am looking forward to a high quality dark chocolate on Easter Sunday.
posted by claire ~ 9:52 p.m. | bullet.gif

Sometimes I get sick of being poor, and about trying to be positive about my job.
posted by claire ~ 9:05 a.m. | bullet.gif

The First Post

I started this blog because there are things that I just can't keep inside, but that I can't really tell those around me. I'd be tickled pink if you commented on any of my posts, because chances are I have no idea who you are, nor you I. That said, let's get to the random things...

I have a yeast infection. Icky, itchy, yucky yeast infection. The first time I had one I felt betrayed by my body. My body usually works so well, it does it's thing, I don't really pay much attention to it and it grows and moves and has its regular monthly cycle, letting me know everything is running smoothly. I can't afford (or rather, I refuse to pay for) a pharmaceutical kit to cure my "condition" so I googled some home rememdies. You'll never guess, but I have a tampon dipped in yoghurt in my vagina now. (And now you know why I couldn't tell this to regular people). Here's hoping things clear up quickly -
posted by claire ~ 1:55 a.m. | bullet.gif

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