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There are things that happen in life that I can't tell my friends and family about. However, a person can't keep everything inside!




Wife - daughter - employee - lover - writer - musician - sculpter - guilt hound - tea drinker - just another face in the crowd



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Random Things I Can't Tell Regular People

Sunday, April 10

Not for me, thanks!

Just spent an afternoon skating, eating pizza, playing Operation... it was quite delightful, actually. My husband and I went out with a friend and her 6 yr old daughter. Daughter's nice, but it's non-stop chatter and activity. She's pretty spoiled, she does what she wants for the most part, and talks your ear off while she does it. Not for me thanks. Spending an afternoon with a 6 yr old has reinforced my feelings toward being childfree. I don't deny that I'll be missing out on my child's adoration, sweet kisses and cute lisp, but I'll also be gaining: a silent moment now and then, a floor with no plastic toys to step on, a full night's sleep, an afternoon that doesn't end in a tantrum...

Blessings that I was born in an age where I have this choice. I wouldn't have been a very good mom anyway, but I make a very good Auntie.
posted by claire ~ 6:41 p.m. | bullet.gif
9 comments

9 Comments:

it can only be held with up most respect that you've amde the choice to not want children. I can certainly say that it isn't something everyone wants to do. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself proclaiming you wouldn't be a good mom...of course you would but you CHOOSE not to have them. I feel it should be respect offered just the same way it is offered for people who do choose to have them.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:12 p.m.  

Definitely. I totally respect parents - anything in my post that seems like disrespect for parents is just veiled bewilderment... how do they do it?!?

By Blogger claire, at 10:52 p.m.  

Just a question... if you and your husband are adamantly opposed to ever having children, why doesn't he just get a vasectomy? That way you won't have to worry about BC options anymore. If you're still unsure, you could get your tubes tied. Why fuss with all that if you don't have to??

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:14 a.m.  

A very good point. We're only 26 so doctor's are loathe to do permanent surgery on one so young. I'm giving myself the surgery for my 35th birthday.
PS - Welcome, tajalude.

By Blogger claire, at 9:41 a.m.  

Well, you and I are the same age then!! : ) Things must be a lot different in Canada! What about the vasectomy? It's an in & out procedure that doesn't require "Surgery" per se. I know when the time comes that Hubs & I are done with our "childbearing abilities", he'll be the one getting fixed, not me! : )
Too bad you can't get the IUD up there... I have it and I love it. I don't have any children (yet) either, but I didn't have any other choice.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:20 a.m.  

I think IUD would be my best choice, if I could convince a doctor to do it. There was trouble with them a number of years ago, and since then, our doctors have been squeemish about them. Tell me, are you ever concerned of displacing your IUD? Do you have a copper one? probably not one with hormones, do you? I would love to get one, it's on my wish list for my next doctor's appointment.

By Blogger claire, at 10:27 p.m.  

Well, actually, I do have the one with hormones, the Mirena. I had a blood clot and pulmonary embolism in November of '03 while on BC pills. I took some blood tests and found out I have FVL, Factor 5 Leiden, which increases my clotting factor by like 100x's. So!! Nothing with estrogen was possible. My sister has taken the depo shot for years, but I've heard some bad things about it. So my ob/gyn suggested the Mirena IUD. It does have hormones, but only a minimal amount, and only progesterone, which doesn't affect me. I had the option of either the Mirena or the other one... I can't remember the name, but the copper T... well, the copper T can increase your bleeding, and I'm already on bloodthinners, so that wasn't an option. With the Mirena, I have about 2 days of light spotting during my period, and that's it. It was a little painful to insert, but not terrible.
Yes, they did get a bad rep back in the 70's, PARAGARD that's the name of the copper T... LOL anyway, yes they were harmful in the old days, but they have changed and are now very safe and effective. Of course you need to speak to your dr. about that, but my dr. was the one that recommended this for me. The Mirena is effective for 5 years, and the only maintanence is to check the "string" during your period. I don't particularly worry about expelling it, apparantly it's more difficult to expell if you've never had kids, plus it usually expells (So I have heard) during bad cramping, and I don't get that.
*PHEW*! This is long. I will say there are dr's here that resist using this on women w/o kids, but I didn't have many other options, save condoms, which ... well, stink. We do plan on having children, hopefully, someday. But we need something very effective, as the medicine I take (coumadin) is very VERY harmful to a baby, should I get pregnant. I will have to stop taking the oral meds and start taking twice daily injections if/when I decide to try to get pregnant. And I feel quite confident in it!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:33 p.m.  

You've inspired me. I called my doctor this morning to schedule an appointment. (In the true Canadian fashion, I'm on a waiting list and will be for months and months...)

By Blogger claire, at 9:30 a.m.  

I think the tag the media has placed on couples who choose not to have children is hilarious: THINKERS. Two Healthy Incomes, No Kids, Early Retirement and Savings.

By Blogger thomaspatrickwheatley, at 11:11 a.m.  

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