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There are things that happen in life that I can't tell my friends and family about. However, a person can't keep everything inside!

Wife - daughter - employee - lover - writer - musician - sculpter - guilt hound - tea drinker - just another face in the crowd

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These are some interesting blogs I keep up on. I'll admit, I rarely comment, but there are some interesting people out there!
All About my Vagina
Myths and Metawhores
Catch Up 272
Unauthorized Bootlog
Fade to Numb
Goose and Gander
Dilemas of a Virgin Slut
Biting my Tongue
...I am Also a Sexual Being
Figleaf's Real Adult Sex
Post Secret(note, Post Secret isn't really a blog, but you should look it over anyway.)
Dingbat Fonts:
The Dingbatcave
Fine Art:
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Random Things I Can't Tell Regular People

Monday, May 9


I have some issues with Anal Sex. I've admitted in the past that I do enjoy it, but my body and my brain are at odds on this one. I've been reading up on it (other's blogs, mainly), I think my problem in the beginning was that I didn't believe my husband could actually enjoy it. It's a dirty area, not associated with love/sex/comfort/pleasure. He's effectively convinced me that he enjoys it, finds it sexy and arousing and orgasm inducing. That's a big step because of all the connotations of "taking it up the arse" are really, really bad and demeaning and uncomfortable.

I'm not sure what my issue with it now is. There's no doubt that when I come with something in my ass, I come BIG. But, there's the point of beginning, when we're finding the right position, the right amount of penetration, the right amount of relaxation, that borders on painful. It's not that it hurts, so much as that it could hurt that scares me. I don't go in for that S&M stuff, really, and the thought of taking something so intimate and ruining it with pain is kind of scary. I feel vulnerable enough, let alone introducing physical discomfort as well as emotional...

I've cried after sex. The pleasure, the release, the closeness. It's a lovely feeling and I don't always know what to do with it so it manifests in tears. I have also cried after anal - sometimes because it hurt (my body and my mind), sometimes because it was just too much to handle. Sometimes I wish I could just throw caution to the wind and enjoy it as much as my husband does. I trust him, he loves me and he'd never hurt me, there's no reason to feel afraid or vulnerable. At the same time, I know that maybe the taboo is part of the appeal for him, which makes me hesitant to want it.

No real point to this post. Just dealing with some things, trying to decide what I feel. Last night I was hesitant to do the bum thing, but my husband wanted it, so I went along. Turns out I enjoyed it... I just wish I could enjoy it without all these issues.
posted by claire ~ 10:51 p.m. | bullet.gif


Ask yourself if you are doing it because you enjoy it. If so, there should be no negative feelings at all. I cant help but think though that you are doing this as some form of obligation: Things are never going to be easy while thats the case...

By Anonymous unfurling, at 4:49 p.m.  

My husband and I engaged in anal sex before we had vaginal sex, because he was naive and I was ... well, naive. He was concerned about pregnancy and I just wanted SOMETHING. I convinced myself I hated it, because I thought I should. I also didn't want him getting accustomed to that instead of vaginal intercourse. So I told him one day "No more." He said fine. We haven't discussed it since, except in passing, and that was me saying I didn't ever want to do it again.

But now I am interested in trying again... not sure how to approach the subject but definitely wanting to try it again. I don't think this affects men as much as women. But I understand your reservations and concerns!! I definitely wasn't ready the first time I did it, but would like to try again.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:57 p.m.  

I appreciate your comments. Maybe you're right, unfurling, although I don't mind it usually, I'm not sure if I'm doing it for my husband or for me. I would certainly like to do it for me (the humongous orgasms are good motivation! :)
I wonder why this seems to affect women more than men. In fact, Tajalude, from what I've read, most men quite enjoy it... maybe you're husband's just waiting for you to bring it up again.

By Blogger claire, at 9:39 p.m.  

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