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There are things that happen in life that I can't tell my friends and family about. However, a person can't keep everything inside!




Wife - daughter - employee - lover - writer - musician - sculpter - guilt hound - tea drinker - just another face in the crowd



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Claire in 30 seconds

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links

These are some interesting blogs I keep up on. I'll admit, I rarely comment, but there are some interesting people out there!
All About my Vagina
Myths and Metawhores
Hiromi_X
Catch Up 272
Unauthorized Bootlog
Fade to Numb
Goose and Gander
Dilemas of a Virgin Slut
Biting my Tongue
...I am Also a Sexual Being
Figleaf's Real Adult Sex
Post Secret(note, Post Secret isn't really a blog, but you should look it over anyway.)
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Ann-S-Thesia
Dingbat Fonts:
The Dingbatcave
Fine Art:
Eyebalm
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Random Things I Can't Tell Regular People

Wednesday, August 31

It has recently come to my attention...

I'm a bit embarrased to admit it, but I think blogging may have affected my outlook on life. Here's the thing. I grew up in a wickedly small town where everyone knows your business and you don't talk about anything you wouldn't want your grandma to find out about. This means that my sexual education was limited to a few things: 1) A 4 page leaflet in grade six with drawings of a cross section vagina and a side view penis. 2) Science fiction and fantasy books. At the time, I said that I liked space travel and dragons. Now I admit I liked the big breasted ladies and the wanton sex. 3) My husband.

Goodness knows my mother never talked about sex with me. My girlfriends in highschool were just as uninformed as I. If it weren't for the internet, I'd know nothing about what is "normal" in the bedroom.

My wonderful, patient, loving and instructive husband had more experience than I did in all matters physical, so he was able to guide us along. Our first year (or two, sadly) of marriage were years of exploration and of him trying to get me more interested in things. I'm afraid I spent a lot of time too exhausted to do anything, or too unsure of myself to initiate anything. There's one dreadfully pathetic entry in my journal (you remember, there used to be paper journals that we would right in with a pen?) about tasting him but feeling myself unsatisfied. I just didn't know what to do or say to make things right. This resulted in my being unassertive, nervous and us having sex rather rarely.

(Bear with me here. I'm still working things out in my head.)

I read blogs about people with low libido spouses. I feel for you because I saw my husband's frustration/annoyance at me during this period of our marriage. I needed to want to have sex, but a person can't just fabricate desire. I'm sorry C-M, I wish I had a solution, I just don't.

Back to blogs, by reading about other people's sex lives, I've learned that lots of things are normal. I've learned what I'm interested in and what I'm not. I've learned that lots of people have different sex-drives. I've learned that the marriage bed is not all about making babies and having a family (thank heavens!). I've learned that anal sex is not abnormal or disgusting, and that one needn't feel guilty about using sex toys in the bedroom (or the couch, kitchen counter, living room floor...) See, my husband was trying to teach me all these things, trying to give me confidence and give me sexual motivation, and reading about it online just sped the process along.

I wouldn't say our sex life is perfect. I don't think we have sex enough to satisfy my higher libido husband. But, I do enjoy it a helluva lot more since gaining some confidence. I had about 2 fantasies in my repetoire before, but now, I'm brave enough to stretch the boundries and think up lots of crazy things. I suggest positions we should try. And (and this is the amazing part) if they don't work out, I just giggle and we try something else. Sex is fun, and now that the pressure is off I actually want more of it.

There are lots of nasty things online, and I'm the first to admit that much of the internet is silly junk. But, writing about my sex life, reading others' sex lives has done me a world of good. Just don't tell my mother, she'd be appalled at my divulgences.
posted by claire ~ 9:58 p.m. | bullet.gif

Sunday, August 28

Birthday presents

Them: Oh, it was your husband's birthday this weekend, what did you get him?

Me: A Zippo lighter and an hour long blowjob. The lighter was for him, the blowjob was for me. It was a happy birthday for everyone.

(Yet another comment to my coworkers that I'd never have the guts to make.)
posted by claire ~ 10:04 p.m. | bullet.gif

Friday, August 26

What's your opinion, Dr. Jung?

Last night I woke myself up laughing. I was dreaming something about snowstorms and riding a jelly bean?! Is that weird to wake yourself up with your own giggles?
posted by claire ~ 9:14 a.m. | bullet.gif

Wednesday, August 24

What about soulmates?

Tajalude had a very interesting post about soulmates, and if there's just one person for everyone or if it's just a compatibility issue. I found my comment getting really long on her post, so I decided just to add a little here.

My husband and I met in University. We were very good friends, went through some stuff (ie. he had a girlfriend at the time), became best friends, and eventually decided to get married. How cliche is it to meet your husband during post-secondary education? It's exceedingly common. (you hear this all the time: I got my B.A. and my M.R.S. at such and such a school...) It was a small school, students were close to one another, there was a pretty good chance of meeting someone whom you got close to.

We decided to get married because we didn't want to be apart anymore and marriage was the easiest way to do that. We had dated (if you can call it that) for a while and knew we were better off together than apart. That's not to say we made the decision flippantly. There was no romantic proposal, no kneeling on the beach with a gigantic diamond ring, just a late night discussion where we decided we were going to cash in our chips, put all our eggs in one basket and tie the knot (how's that for metaphor use!). We didn't tell anyone what we were planning on doing until just a few weeks before we were going to do the deed.

Why am I typing all this? Because I think if our situation had changed just a little, maybe I decided to go to another school, or he decided to stick it out with the previous girlfriend, we wouldn't have become as close and we wouldn't have gotten married. But, I think that we are an extremely good match, and I can't imagine anyone that would suit me better. Not only that but I've decided that I'm not going to look for that mystical soulmate. Instead, I'm going to put all my energy into making it work with my husband. Thankfully, my husband feels the same way, so I'm not really worried about his galavanting off with some floozy.

Hmmm, I see I'm rambling now with no point in particular. I think I'm rather proud of my husband's and my relationship, and so I like to talk about it. It seems well founded and what's better, after 3 years we still just love being together! I feel like he's closer to me than anyone else and, if not a soulmate, he's the best husband I've ever had!
posted by claire ~ 9:25 p.m. | bullet.gif

Tuesday, August 23

Here's what's great about my husband.

We had a long day, busy and lots of running around, trying to get by on minimum sleep and poor nutrition. I, in that situation, turn crazy. I cry, rant, blow up and generally make my feelings known. When my husband is feeling a little touchy you wouldn't know it. My only clue on that day was when he said, Yeah, I'm a little tired. Maybe annoyances should be kept to a minimum. At least there's one reliably sane person in this house.
posted by claire ~ 2:59 p.m. | bullet.gif

Monday, August 22

Whew!

Back at home in the privacy of my own computer, with my own bookmarks and my "remember me on this computer." Visiting home is interesting and I like visiting the folks there, but there's something about being away that is freeing. I was trying to work it out with my husband while we were on holiday, I've decided that my hometown makes me feel opressed. Everyone knows everything about everyone else, and the expectations! oy.

Anyway, despite having my being squelched in my town, my husband and I did manage to have some fun: in the car, on the desk, on my parents bed... I think that may have been a bit of a power issue between them and my husband (that they didn't even know about). Doing it on my parent's bed didn't make me uber-excited, or feel naughty and horny or anything like that. I just closed my eyes and focused on my husband and the amazing feelings that were going on (the 45 minute drive while being fingered was good and arousing too!) and had a delightfully satisfying orgasm. He came quickly after and we rushed around to tidy up before the parents came home. I never dated much in high school, so this felt oddly sophomoric.

After all the fluff and feathers of getting ready and dealing with the pet, the trip turned out to be a good one. Nevertheless, there's nothing like writing a blog in your underwear... you just don't get that kind of fun anywhere but home.
posted by claire ~ 11:53 a.m. | bullet.gif

Friday, August 19

Be vewy, vewy quiet

A person must be very, very quiet while giving her
husband a blow job on a squeaky bed, in a room right
under his in-laws bedroom. Sometimes, quiet can be
fun, though.

posted by claire ~ 11:52 p.m. | bullet.gif

Tuesday, August 16

...all my bags are packed, I'm ready to go

I'm off for a week with my parents. I love my mother, but she is the person who must never see this blog. As such I will be out of the blogosphere for a week or so, perhaps posting by email, but not able to check anything.

Have a good week, eh?
posted by claire ~ 7:20 a.m. | bullet.gif

Sunday, August 14

Let the vacation begin

Rechargable batteries, the nickel-metal hydride kind you use in digital cameras and mp3 players, have recently come down in price. I stocked up since this vibrator us very hard on power. Today I had a chance to try them out and they make all the difference in the world. I used the vibrator on myself, my husband watched as the waves of orgasms came, the gigantic King Orgasm passed over me, and the ripple after shock mini-orgasms came by. He put his finger in me (my bum, since my kootch and my clit were very busy with the vibrations and the rotations) and it felt so good.

We shifted positions and he replaced his finger with his penis, it was amazing. Look again at this vibrator, because I don't think my verbal description is making much sense. (Give me a break, eh? I'm still suffering post-coital garble.) Anyway, the combination of juiced up vibrator, penis in ass and multiple waves of orgasms was enough to put all other thoughts aside. It was very cathartic (of course, ending in tears) and put me in the vacation frame of mind. Let the holiday begin!
posted by claire ~ 9:10 p.m. | bullet.gif

Weekend

Ok, blog tweaking done, let's get down to the good stuff. I'm on vacation this week. It's supposed to be filled with sleeping in, leisurely walks in the park, watching movies and eating junk food. Instead, my pet got sick. Not just a little sick, really, really, take-him-to-the-vet-even-though-it's-midnight-sick. My husband and I have now spent a tonne of money on taxis and tests for this furry friend. I love him (the pet, I mean) but it is an awful inconvenience. I can't write this on my family website, because these are not nice feelings (you were warned).

He's messing up my vacation! He's taking all my money and preventing me from relaxing like I'd been hoping to. He's just a silly little pet, and there's no question of not doing what's needed, but I hate making decisions and this vacation is starting out with some whoppers. Phew, sigh of relief at getting that out.

The good news. My husband and I have always drawn closer in times of trouble. I think my husband may be saddened by these events (our pet is terribly uncomfortable) but I'm sad and put out that he got sick at this time... why not next week? When I'm back from vacation, refueled and needing disctraction? But, my husband and I got our tears out and snuggled like crazy last night. Full body spooning. There is such comfort in another person in the bed. He had got up to get a drink this morning and in my sleepiness I was startled and confused when I didn't feel him on his side. Luckily, by the time I got around to processing the empty bed, he was walking in with his juice. He always looks amazing, but seeing him there in his "pyjamas," walking in ready to snuggle some more was beautiful.

Although our pet isn't here, we're family through and through. Family sticks together, even if we may have to spend hundreds of dollars on an operation. I used to think people that spent so much money on their animals were crazy. I still do, except now I'm one of them. When the doctor says, this is what's wrong and this is what will fix it who am I to tell my pet that, for reasons of economy, he's not allowed to live another 5 years. We do what we have to, I guess.
posted by claire ~ 12:13 p.m. | bullet.gif

Saturday, August 13

new look

If you've been here before, you'll notice I've spruced things up a bit. I have never adjust the plain old Blogger template in the past, but I think I like this one. With a little tweaking it came out quite nicely.

Thanks to Ann-S-Thesia. Feel free to make suggestions, and let me know if it doesn't work in your browser (although with the technical prowess of a groundhog, I'm not sure what I'll be able to do about it).
posted by claire ~ 3:38 p.m. | bullet.gif

A note to the reading public

Hey, I made it to fleshbot on this day for this post. That's definitely something I can't tell regular people: yeah, I wrote a post about masterbating with my husband while talking about our fantasies, and...

It's funny though, I am very firm with myself about writing this blog for me and my husband, and not feeling like I had to please any readers that happen by. There were weeks or two when I didn't feel like writing and, being the guilt hound that I am, had to remind myself that updating is my choice, I'm not letting anyone down. I have enough people pleasing endeavors on the go, and this is not one of them. That said, I like being read. I like when people read my blog and I like it when they comment. It makes me feel good that people think my random thoughts are interesting or amusing. So, although I don't do it for you, thanks for reading, eh?
posted by claire ~ 11:28 a.m. | bullet.gif

Friday, August 12

NIN - Nov. 11 - I'm excited (which is surprising.)

posted by claire ~ 11:21 a.m. | bullet.gif

Thursday, August 11

Psst... Here's a secret

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Today a co-worker came to work with her 2 month old son. Although I doted over the boy like all the rest, I actually think my pets are cuter.
posted by claire ~ 9:12 p.m. | bullet.gif

Monday, August 8

Monday morning afterglow

My husband and I had a very busy weekend, and last night I hardly had the energy to brush my teeth before falling into bed. What was I greeted by when I got there? A delicious taste of cunnilingus. I was lying on my back, utterly comfortable and my husband sacrificed his neck and jaw to please me. A little while into it, I asked if there was anything I could do for him. He told me just to lay back and enjoy it, and so I did. I usually feel a little guilty about receiving and not giving, but he was going at it so enthusiastically, it was as if he was actually enjoying it. And, it felt soooo good, who was I to stop him? I had an enormous, hip thrusting, back arching orgasm that felt extremely satisfying, but was that enough for my husband? oh no, he kept going, gently (since I was pretty sensitive at this point) but it was amazing. Following that off the charts climax, there were a number of others, waves of peaks - I don't think I've ever felt anything like that before (except maybe during this experience.)

Eventually the time came when I needed him inside me. From here on in things get a little blurry. I got on top, and those waves of pleasure just kept coming. My husband assures me that when I'm enjoying myself, he is enjoying himself, that I don't need to worry about specifically doing anything for him. I find it hard to believe, but last night I took his word and just rode him for all I could. It was so, so good.

The sweetest words: Wife, I love you. (I kissed him and kept grinding into him) Wife, I need to be in your ass. (I kissed him and kept grinding and grabbed the lube.) I was glad that he'd asked because, although I hadn't thought of it, it was definitely something that I was into last night. That full feeling, plus full and easy access to my pussy and my clit.

I wasn't able to focus long enough to keep track of orgasms. Last night was just so amazing that numbers don't do it justice. After cleanup, my husband mentioned that after almost 3 years of marriage, we're still having great sex. How right he is! I'm a little tired this morning, but I think sacrificing a little sleep was worth it. I'll tell my coworkers about my weekend, how busy it was and how tired out I am. But I won't be telling them it's because I was up till all hours with a penis in my ass, enjoying waves of orgasms. That's a secret between me and my husband (and any internet readers that happen to pass by.) It's all good.
posted by claire ~ 9:23 a.m. | bullet.gif

Friday, August 5

Good news. My body remembers how to have sex after all. Refresher course last night. Yum.
posted by claire ~ 9:11 a.m. | bullet.gif

Thursday, August 4

No, I'm not dead. There is nothing interesting going on in life, nothing for our family website, and absolutely nothing for my "secret" blog. I haven't had sex in what feels like forever, I think my body forgets how...
posted by claire ~ 9:26 p.m. | bullet.gif

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